Happiness is Not a Riddle
by dance life away
Summary: MWPP. Rosalind Barlow receives a diary for her seventeenth birthday and proceeds to name it "Nora" for no particular reason. Nora becomes witness to her friendships, losses, and even some love on Rosalind's search for herself. ON HIATUS for an indefinite amount of time, possibly permanently.
1. Chapter 1

**Happiness is Not a Riddle**

Summary: MWPP. Rosalind Barlow receives a diary for her seventeenth birthday and proceeds to name it "Nora" for no particular reason. Nora becomes witness to her friendships, losses, and even some love on Rosalind's search for herself.

Disclaimer: If I were JK Rowling I wouldn't be on , duh.

**_***HERE'S THE DEAL::::_** So this hadn't been updated in ages because I thought I lost the flashdrive it was saved on back in May. Well, two days ago I was digging in my backpack because I have lost me life, aka my debit card, and was looking for that when, instead, I found the flashdrive! Reading through it, I realized that in my mind, Rosalind and the gang are seventh years, but when I first began the story they were meant to be sixth years, so I didn't write James and Lily and Head Boy/Head Girl. Between that and few other tiny things here and there, I figured why not fix them and reload the first two chapters? And I almost have chapter three finished, it's pretty long; I hope it will make up for the whole losing the flashdrive for months thing. Enjoy!

* * *

_Chapter One: Who Names Their Diary?_

**September 17****th,**** 1976**

Dear Diary (wow that sounds stupid),

Today is my seventeenth birthday. My mother gave you to me before I left for school a few weeks ago, but I felt it wouldn't be very appropriate to really use it until today. So Diary, as your writer, I suppose I should tell you a bit about me.

My name is Rosalind Judith Barlow (but my closest, craziest friends prefer to call me Rozza) and I am a witch. Growing up, I knew there was something different about me, but never what - I was raised without magic. My parents met at some, I don't know, counter culture gathering in 60's and had a fling. My biological mom (her name was Sonya, I believe) dropped me with my Dad and left. But she's not the woman who gave me this diary, that's Anna, whom I consider my _real_ mother.

Anyway, although my namesake is Rosalind, the heroine of "As You Like It", I've never felt like much of a heroine in my own life. I don't even really like Shakespeare (but my father sure does! My brothers are Mercutio and Othello, for heaven's sake). I'm not meek, by anyone's standards, but…I don't know. I'm a generally pleasant person who prefers that not everything be a dramatic production. I keep a lot of things to myself - that I'm easily offended and that I hold grudges like no one's business. I'm a bookish, intense chatterbox who can't make eye contact and tries too hard. At school (Hogwarts, for other witches and wizards), I'm in Ravenclaw. I have a small group of friends from multiple houses (there are four).

Wow.

List of Reasons I Feel Like a Square Right Now

1. I used the phrase "dear diary." I really have to name you or _something_.

2. I just described myself to a collection of pages bound together.

3. I just suggested I name my diary.

I guess I am a square…but nothing I can do about it now.

**10:15 pm**

I had a pretty great birthday. Emmeline Vance (best friend) and John Seaton (other best friend and fellow prefect) got together a group of people I like and we celebrated in this fancy room I've never been to before. Somehow, there was cake and my favorite muggle music and my favorite people.

"You guys, how did you do all of this?" I asked Emme and John as they lead me towards the front of the room to do a toast (what was this, a wedding?)

"We pulled some strings, but I suggest you thank Lily," Emme said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye, which was rather odd but Emme is not exactly the mischievous kind of person. My own eyes flittered around until they settled on Lily Evans, another of my good friends and a Gryffindor (unlike John, Emme, and I) but whatever I was thinking was interrupted by the sound of clinking of a drinking glass.

"Hey, attention everyone!" John shouted. "First of all, we'd like to thank you all for coming, I know Rozza here is really glad you all could pretend to like her for an hour or so-"

"Hey!" I interjected, jabbing him in the ribs, but he only gave me a smirk.

"I am very glad you're all here," I said, taking over. "And I hope that despite some house rivalries, you'll all get along (looking pointedly at the Marauders…though I'm really not sure why they were there as we aren't friends)! I can't believe this is my last year here at Hogwarts. What an adventure! I could go on for quite some time about how quickly life goes by, but I'm sure you all just want to eat cake and mingle (that got a few giggles)…so enjoy yourselves!"

Nothing happened that stuck out, I guess, though despite much pestering, Lily Evans would not explain why I was supposed to thank her. I have a feeling she asked James Potter for a place to throw this, the cake, and a way to not get in trouble. I'm proud of her! Still can't believe he got Head Boy. Must have been a miracle!

Well, diary (still feel like a square), I guess I'll….talk to you later? (urgh)

-RJB

**September 18****th**** (79) **

**8:00am**

I can't believe I'm up this early. I miss the weekend. I'm currently sitting at the Ravenclaw table for breakfast and finding myself terribly disappointed that someone has apparently eaten all the French toast. I love French toast to pieces, I must say, and I can't believe I'm about to go on a quest to find some.

-back. Lily had some over at the Gryffindor table. She was sitting with fellow Prefect Remus Lupin about patrolling or something (although I'm a Prefect myself, John and I are so close that we're practically on the same wavelength anyway).

"Lily, may I have some of that delectable French toast sitting beside you?" I asked, sounding dreadfully and pathetically hopeful. She laughed and handed me a few pieces on a plate.

"You and your French toast, Rosalind!" she grinned, and I noticed before walking away that Remus was giving me an…intrigued(?) glance. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have said anything, but in the morning, I cannot be held accountable for my actions…or words.

"Oh shut it, Lupin (even though he hadn't said anything)-that's right, I am addicted to French toast. Bugger off."

He still looks like someone kicked his puppy.

**9:30am, History of Magic**

Sometimes I really wonder why I'm in this class. Binns is on drugs, I swear, or at least, he would be if he were alive. Someone AVADA KEDAVRA me, please.

**9:31 am,**

Oh God. Remind me again why I thought it would be cool to take this as a NEWT class?

**9:45am**

Plus side of HOM: I came up with a name for you, Diary. I officially christen you Nora! Now, I should probably go back to taking notes.

**5:30pm, Prefect Meeting**

Prefect meetings are dreadfully boring, _not gonna lie_. I've been really busy all day and couldn't find time to write even at dinner. What can I say, I was really hungry.

Anyway, I'm sitting here with that Remus on one side and John on the other. However, while HG and HB are discussing things in private, John is attempting to flirt with Lisa Smith from Hufflepuff. I really don't see why (okay, so she's not a cow, but she really isn't John's type).

_Is this a diary? -RL_

No, it's Nora. And regardless, why are you writing in it if it isn't yours?

_You were distracted by John's attempt at flirting and took advantage of the fact that you left your…non-quill unattended._

It's a pen. I only use quills for assignments.

_Why?_

I grew up as a Muggle. Quills are weird.

_I never knew you were Muggleborn._

I'm not.

Oh-HB and HG finally sorted out whatever it was they were arguing about and are starting to talk. Lily's shooting me suspicious looks as I scribble furiously (she must know I've not paying attention to either her or James). The girl takes everything seriously; I can't imagine why she's not in Ravenclaw. Nora, you must be wondering (with all my not paying attention and hating History of Magic) why I am in Ravenclaw. In my defense, I would just like to say I do take a lot of things seriously, but it is important to try and be lighthearted. Taking life too seriously leads to serious stress. Though, the main different between Lily and I is that I'm a spaz and she's not.

_Since when is John mooning over Lisa? -RL_

I suppose since now. He's rather fickle, so I wouldn't read much into it.

_I don't really care what/who John likes, I just needed an ice breaker. James and Lily as HB/HG is…interesting._

Ha! They are- last year's H team was far superior. And really, why do we need to switch up patrol schedules every week this year?

_For no reason, apparently . Just to be difficult._

**You guys need to stop writing and start paying attention! How will you know you're patrolling together Tuesday and Friday? By the way, I don't appreciate you talking about me either! -LE**

Thanks Lily, you just told us! =)

Crap. Now Lily's mad at me. I guess I'll pull John from his woman and hope James Potter will make her so upset later she'll forget I annoyed her!

Homework

Ancient Runes: review chapter five

HOM: read/outline article "Bouddica: Witch or Muggle?"

Potions: essay on Draught of Living Death

Divination: pick a personal teacup (that's my kind of homework!)

Charms: practice review

Astronomy: chart B

-RJB

**September 20****th**

Nora,

Today is Friday and tomorrow is our first Hogsmeade weekend! I am excited! I also love Fridays because I have a long free period in the morning. Here, I'll post my schedule:

Monday

HOM 9:00-10:45

Lunch 11:00-12:00

Charms 12:00-1:30

Study period: 1:30-3:00

Tuesday

Ancient Runes 9:00-11:00

Lunch: 11:00-12:00

FREE period: 12:30-2:00

Divination: 2:00-3:00

Wednesday

History of Magic: 9:00-10:45

Lunch: 11:00-12:00

Charms: 12:00-1:30

Potions: 1:30-3:00

(Rounds 9:00-10:00)

Thursday

nothing: 9:00-11:00

Lunch: 11:00-12:00

Divination: 12:00-1:30

Library Asst.: 2:00-5:00

(Rounds 9:00-10:00)

Friday

Study Period: 9:00-11:00

Lunch: 11:00-12:00

Ancient Runes TA: 12:00-2:00

Astronomy 11:30-1:45(am)

See? Clearly Friday is the best day: "study period" and no class! Some nights I have Astronomy, but I like that class a lot, so it's okay. Well, breakfast is over and I'm going to go back to the dorm and nap!

**10:20am**

Naps are so beautiful! I am actually fully rested (I was up-last night + working on Astronomy). I feel like reading something Muggle, let's go see what is in my trunk!

Hmmm…I've got _A Passage to India, _my Bible, _The Feminine Mystique _(for my inner feminist)_, _and _Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_.

I feel like a little Edward Hyde is in order! You know what would be really, ridiculously amazing? If someday, they made a musical out of it (meaning the story). It's one of my favorite books, because it raises some important questions and really makes me think; it's not even the writing itself which interests me the most, but rather the ideas it inspires. There's this idea of the duality of human nature, that good _and_ evil are present in everything, even inside each of us. What happens when we do not embrace the light and the dark, every aspect of ourselves, and instead chose to banish half of ourselves to the unconscious mind? Stevenson's interpretation is that we go batshit crazy and become two distinct people. I don't know what I think.

I'm going to read now. Check back in later.

**12:02pm**

Lunch was rather uneventful. Emme and I sat there, bored, watching John "work his magic" (insert unladylike snort here) on Lisa over at the Hufflepuff table. That boy thinks he is so suave, but believe me Nora, he's in for one really big surprise if he thinks she's going to swoon. After all, Lisa Smith is one of the prettiest girls in our year. Why the heck would she want to be with John?

Okay, that's kind of mean. Sorry. I love John, but he's a dork.

Anyway, the best part was when Emme started flinging pieces of chicken at the back of John's head. He'd stop talking, look around, glare at us, and continue 'flirting.' Then we would precede to fall into a fit of giggles before throwing some more.

So now I'm sitting in Professor William's class as his TA with a bunch of 3rd years who couldn't define aettir if their life depended on it. Professor William (Blake, he says I should call him) is one of my favorite teachers, partly because I kind of consider him a friend. I've always been very interested in languages and history, even before I started taking his class, and he's become one of those teachers you can talk to about anything. That's how he bribed me into being his TA and correcting essays on the origins of the Runic Alphabet.

Ya-ya? I think not. Can't wait until this shit is over and I can work on chapter five review…just me and some Babylonian hieroglyphs. Hurrah! That and Astronomy tonight. However, unlike the Babylonians, mapping the trajectory of Uranus isn't on my list of fun things to do. At least there's Hogsmeade tomorrow!

Oh crap, that was Professor Williams asking me to clarify something. Whoops. Later.

-RJB

**September 21****st**

**-breakfast**

Hogsmeade will not be as fun as previously thought. John announced (by some miracle of fate) he will be going with Lisa as of about five minutes ago, and Emme has a really long Potions essay to write and doesn't want to wait until the last minute. I'm seriously stuck alone. Some friends I have! So I'm going to sit here at breakfast and sulk…somebody had better pay attention.

**A few minutes later**

My sulking has proved fruitless. John and Emme simply laughed at me and have driven me to the Gryffindor table to sit with Lily Evans.

"James asked me to Hogsmeade," she said, conversationally, after I explained the fake friends at my own house table.

"Big surprise there," I laughed, sneaking a glance further down the table at the messy haired trouble-maker.

"You know Rosalind," she began. "He's better than he used to be. He changed over the summer."

I raised my eyebrows, completely not convinced. Just last week I saw him and Sirius Black cornering a couple of Slytherin fourth years in the third floor corridor. But whatever.

"So did you say yes? If so, does that mean I'm still alone?" I asked, not really interested in whatever the heck she thought about James Potter at this moment.

"I told him maybe we could hang out for a bit," she shrugged, as if this weren't a huge deal…because, you know, Lily Evans and James Potter were _totally_ best friends. Just because you work together…geez!

"So are you going to take pity on me or not?" I asked again, frowning slightly.

"Of course I'll take pity on you," she sighed, as if it were soooo obvious. "But you might have to hang out with the boys for a little bit."

This time, it was my turn to sigh. Here's a secret: I am head over heels _in lust_ with Sirius Black. I mean, which teenage girl isn't? He's got this total roughish bad-boy thing going on that I really can't resist.

"Alright," I said, despite my reservations. The things I do to not be alone. Geesh.

**10am**

Well, here goes nothing.

**5:15pm**

Well today was _exhausting_! I don't think I've ever traipsed around Hogsmeade the way those boys did. First Zonko's, then Honeyduke's, then the stupid Quidditch store, then The Three Broomsticks, then messing around in front of the Shrieking Shack…and of course, Lily and James excused themselves and hour in to spend some time alone. Honestly, the things I do for friends.

"How did you get bribed into hanging out with us today?" Remus asked, sitting next to me in the booth at the Three Broomsticks, glancing over at where James and Lily sat alone, laughing at some joke we couldn't hear all the way across the room.

"Ha! I wish I was bribed, because then I'd be getting something for this," I exclaimed. "But John ditched me for Lisa, Emme ditched me for homework, and Lily didn't tell me I'd be alone with a bunch of crazy guys."

"You know you love it," interjected Sirius, with the trademark grin that made me go weak in the knees. Curses! I couldn't help but shyly smile back. I think Remus noticed.

Okay, so yes, I am undeniably attracted to Sirius Black. But please, Nora, don't take this as a sign that I want to date him, because that would be a nightmare. Sirius is a player, everyone knows it, and we would just be completely incompatible. He's a trouble-maker, a slacker, an impulsive Gryffindor…so not my type. Though, come to think of it, I don't really have a type.

I guess the whole day was kind of find, even if it was exhausting and not quite what I expected. I feel like I got to know Remus a bit better, which is a good thing in itself, as we are now patrol partners. I still don't understand, though, why Susan and Paul had to mix things up, aka, why John and I don't patrol together much anymore. Why is the universe conspiring against me and my best friends?

Oh well. I have homework to do. Check in later.

**11pm**

Out on rounds with Remus-not much going on, so I decided to write. I don't really like patrol, to tell the truth. Why should I bust kids in broom closets when I sure wouldn't mind being in one myself? This isn't to say I've ever gotten frisky in one, because I haven't (because it is kind of tacky), but I still feel a sort of hypocrite. But that's a whole separate story within itself (insert dramatic sigh here)

_What on earth are you doing writing in that journal again? -RL_

Well, Remus seems to have managed some sort of charm that lets him write in here without a quill or any type of writing utensil. Tricky bastard.

_I saw that._

Yes, well, serves you right, then.

_We're supposed to be patrolling. _

You're one to talk, Mister My-Best-Friends-are-James-and-Sirius, aka trouble-makering extraordinaires.

_You have a point, but how are you paying attention to the corridors and writing in here at the same time? If anyone found out, you could be stripped of your badge._

As long as you won't tell, I think we're good.

_What if I do?_

You won't.

_Oh?_

You're a nice guy, Remus. Plus, I'm pretty sure you've used your prefect status to help your friends pull off pranks. It would be out of character.

_You seem to know me far too well, and yet, I don't really know you._

I'd lose all my mystery then, wouldn't I?

**midnight**

Remus was about to say something…but then an odd noise came from the corridor to our left and we had to go check it out. So I keep my mystery!

-RJB


	2. Chapter 2

**Happiness is Not a Riddle**

Summary: MWPP. Rosalind Barlow receives a diary for her seventeenth birthday and proceeds to name it "Nora" for no particular reason. Nora becomes witness to her friendships, losses, and even some love on Rosalind's search for herself.

Disclaimer: oh yes, I'm totally JKR in disguise. Consequently, I'd also Albert fucking Einstein

*title is from the Habanera, famous song from the opera _Carmen_, and translates to "love is a wild bird which no one can tame," but I like the more poetic "love is only a woodbird wild that no can ever hope to tame." So let's go with that. Just to give you an idea of what this chapter will entail, you know.

**Note: for now, I'm going to organize the chapters by month. One was September, Two will be October, Three November, etc, leading up to a final total of 10 chapters, the final chapter just being a summer kind of thing, not exactly a resolution of the story but an end none the less (I have some interested things in mind).

EDITED VERSION UPDATED: 12/14/2010

* * *

_Chapter Two: L'amour est un oiseau rebelle que ne nul peut apprivoiser_

**Sunday, October 12th**

Nora,

Sorry…it's hard to find time to update often. Professors have started upping the ante on homework. Curses on my NEWTS classes! I don't know why I bothered to take more than three, because I have no interest in much of anything but Ancient Runes and Divination. Ancient Runes, because it is the best thing I've ever discovered, and Divination because I have no clue what I'm doing but somehow it works.

Today's a Saturday so the only thing I really _have_ to do is patrol tonight with Lily…which means no multitasking. Remus has been sick or something, I dunno, he didn't tell me any details. He seems to get sick pretty often, now that I think about it. That's odd.

Speaking of odd, with the full moon coming up tomorrow, everyone's been acting completely bonkers and it's been driving me crazy. It's like this school is full of lunatics. I had to break up a fight yesterday-a bloody fight in my own common room! I can say the number of fights I've had to break up can be counted on one hand. Gryffindors and Slytherins get into fights all the time, but I'm not responsible for those. Ravenclaw is supposed to be the sensible house, honestly.

Well, I'm off to do some homework…eww. I hate NEWTS, seriously. I should have dropped out while I was ahead.

**After patrol**

I just had an interesting conversation with Lily. Wow.

So we're walking around, looking for ne'er-do-wells and whatnot, when she turns to me, with a very serious look on her face (more serious than normal), and says:

"I think I have a crush on James Potter."

I sort of just stared at her for about five minutes, speechless (for probably the first time in my entire life).

"Err…uhmmm…oh…alright?" I stammered, wide-eyed, in complete disbelief. Lily Evans, Miss James-Potter-is-a-toe-rag-and-I'd-rather-shove-a-wand-up-my-ass-than-date-him, seriously just admitted to having a crush on him? Because even though she said "I think," Lily never voices anything she isn't certain of.

"Is that all you have to say?" she asked, nostrils flaring. "My entire life just flipped on its head and all you can think to say is 'ok'?"

"I mean, Lily, that's like me saying I fancy Lucius Malfoy or something. How would you react if I told you something completely opposite of everything I've ever said?" I retorted, mildly irritated. Did she expect me to congratulate her or something? Really.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" she exclaimed, exasperated.

"How am I supposed to know? My record with boys is lower than a cellar-I've only seriously dated one Muggle boy from my neighborhood," I confessed. I'd never actually told anyone beyond Emme about my next-door neighbor, Alex, whom I previously believed to be the love of my life/anam cara/soul mate/insert cliché here. Long story short: he's not.

"Really?" Lily inquired, interested by this small tidbit I'd offered up. "Do tell."

"His name is Alex," I sighed. "We've lived next door to each other since we were in diapers, and were best friends all through primary. When we were fifteen, we started to be something, you know, _more_. He was perfect-he even knew I was a witch and didn't care."

"Then why are you single?"

Oh, that dreaded question. Everything had seemed so perfect until August. Nora, it hurt so much, heck, it still aches like a fresh wound. I mean, it was less than two months ago.

"I…really don't want to talk about it," I said, and started walking again. I could hear Lily scramble to catch up to my speed walking.

Before we went back to our respective common rooms, I gave her a smile, and a bit of advice. I told her that, if I were her, I'd run up to James and give him a good snog the next time I saw him. I doubt she will, but she can't tell me I didn't try to help.

-RJB

**Wednesday, October 15****th**

Nora,

Lily's been avoiding me almost as much as she's been avoiding James (the former being the more difficult of the two). I know she feels terrible about upsetting me the other night. It's not her fault Alex is a touchy subject. On another note, I will have my normal patrol partner back for rounds tomorrow night.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about the other night," Remus came up to me in the Library today and apologized. "I get sick pretty often, and Madame Pomphrey…"

"Geez Remus, how dare you fall ill and shrink on your prefect duties," I drawled sarcastically, before breaking into a smile, seeing he hadn't picked up on the sarcasm. "Just kidding. It's cool."

His face relaxed into a smile to match my own. For a minute, I couldn't help but think, wow, he has a great smile, but then I shoved such thoughts from my mind.

"Do you want to study for Ancient Runes?" he asked, sliding into the seat next to me.

"Sure!" I replied, excitedly, and moved my open book over so we could both look at it. And that's how to get me interested - start reciting Futhark and I can't resist!

List of My Favorite Things

1. Ancient Futhark and similar runic alphabets (I go nerdy over them)

2. Tolstoy's late works

3. show tunes! (why hello George Gershwin)

4. Running around in the rain

5. _The Sound of Music _(hence the urge to make a list of my favorite things)

6. The way Alex smelled when we'd lay around in the park

Even though we're not together, Alex still ranks in the top six.

_Who's Alex? - RL_

Remus, you really gotta stop creepin' on my journal here.

_That's what happens when you were supposed to be writing down a translation but are journaling instead. So how's it my fault?_

Red herring.

_Maybe. So what?_

Aha! You've admitted your guilt.

_You like the Sound of Music?_

Red herring once again, but I suppose I can forgive you. And yes, I absolutely adore _the Sound of Music_. I watched it with my parents as a kid. How do you know the movie?

_My Mum's muggleborn_. _It's her favorite movie. _

Smart woman, then. Great minds think alike.

_You kind of remind me of her a little bit. You're both nutcases who mean well._

Gee, thanks. You really know how to charm a girl.

_It's a gift. _

Oh shut up. Let's finish studying.

Homework

***start brainstorming seventh year project

AC: chapter eight

Divination: design your own natal chart, explain meanings

Charms: apparition theory, two foot, essay

Potions: review for Draught of Living Death. Ew!

HOM: report on ancient Egypt

Astronomy: not much of anything. Ya-ya!

-RJB

**Thursday, October 16****th**

Nora,

I got a letter from Dad and Mum at breakfast this morning. 'Thello enclosed one of his own, saying he got a Hogwarts letter on his birthday. I have to say, I'm surprised, considering unlike me, he doesn't have a magical parent (unless there's something about Dad we don't know…dun dun dun!). I'm excited for him, but I feel bad for Mercutio, because he's thirteen and apparently as Muggle as they come.

Gotta go. Class.

**During Divination**

I'm supposed to be examining the sky charts from the moment I was born, but I don't really feel like it. I think Astrology is bullshit, even more than the other stuff we study in here. I believe runes have power, so rune casting doesn't qualify under the BS category. Not sure how I feel about tea leaves, but I do believe in Tarot cards because, well, they've always proved themselves to be rather accurate. That's a lot, coming from me; I don't believe just anything and I need evidence before I decide something important.

Oh crap. The prof is looking this way. I'm going to pretend I'm doing something relevant to the assignment.

Rosalind Judith Barlow: September 17th, 1959

_Rising: 11 degrees Cancer _

_Sun: 24 degrees Virgo_

_Moon: 05 degrees Aries_

_Mercury: 24 degrees Virgo_

_Venus: 00 degrees Virgo_

_Mars: 07 degrees Libra_

_Jupiter: 27 degrees Scorpio_

_Saturn: 00 degrees Capricorn_

_Uranus: 18 degrees Leo_

_Neptune: 05 degrees Scorpio_

_Pluto: 04 degrees Virgo_

_N. Node: 03 degrees Libra_

This proves the complete lack of credibility Astrology has. First of all, I'm not much of a Virgo (neat and organized? Hahaha) I'm not conservative or cautious, like my rising sign suggests. I am not careless, reckless, or foolhardy as my moon in Aries thinks I should be.

**3:15pm**

HOLY CRAP.

Lily just walked in and told me she took my advice. Apparently, she walked right up to James and snogged the heck out of him. I imagine he was rather enthusiastic, poor man probably peed himself from excitement. He has been mooning over Lily since we were eleven. Talk about a dream come true!

Well hell, it's not even three o clock and today has been the most eventful of the week, I'd say. I'm actually a little afraid of what is in store for the rest of the week, or even patrol tonight (considering last week's disastrous one). Things are bound to be crazy.

But anyway…Lily and James, together? It's such an odd concept. I've only ever seen them constantly at each other's throats, insulting one another and all that jazz. Them, well, kissing, or doing anything of an amicable nature, is just plain weird.

_Tell me about it. -RL_

Seriously. Where the heck did you come from and what spell do you use to creep on me?

_I'm not creeping on you! I'm just CHECKING up on you. And you get so into writing you didn't even notice me coming up and looking over your shoulder._

Like a creeper.

_No._

Whatever. We both know the truth.

_So how about Lily and James then?_

You think you are so witty, using your read herrings to detract from your flaws. But I will humor you and pretend I didn't notice. You have me to thank for that little pairing.

_Oh really? Does it have nothing to do with my best friend being relentless in his pursuance of Lily?_

Well, obviously that has _something_ to do with it, but Lily has never been described as "gutsy," so it's pretty safe to say the whole 'walking up to James and snogging him until he passed out' was my idea. I mean, she probably would just have avoided him for eternity and ended up marrying some Ravenclaw.

_As a Ravenclaw, shouldn't you be more supportive of your house?_

Most Ravenclaw boys are boring, don't pretend you haven't noticed. Actually, to be honest, a lot of us in general are kind of boring - practical, bookwormish, the whole stereotype.

_I'd have to say you are probably the antithesis of boring._

Well, that's a matter of opinion, because I guarantee you most people have a more exciting life than I do.

_But that's it, isn't it? They may lead more "exciting lives," but that doesn't make them exciting people. _

Yeah, I guess. But I'm kicking you out of Nora, because a) I need some privacy and b) I have a rendez-vous with my partners in crime.

_I see how it is._

Then you'll stop creeping on me? (But Remus didn't reply, because he's clearly a coward who can't face the truth. That's right, Remus Lupin, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.)

Anyway, I really do have a "meeting"/rendez-vous with John and Emme. That's a fancy word for study time, by the way. I mean, we're Ravenclaws, what did you expect?

**After the rendez-vous pour les etudes **

I love my best friends. I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with them lately - we don't have many classes together and now that John and I aren't patrol partners, so our nightly tomfoolery is nonexistent. I miss it, and them, very much. To tell the truth, we didn't do much studying….not as if that's actually surprising (ha! Seventh year itch makes it hard to concentrate on classwork).

Bah. I have to get to dinner and then I have patrol. Boo. Well, not really boo…maybe I'll teach Remus a lesson or too in the witty banter arena tonight. He likes to keep a tally (so of course he would say he's winning).

**11:47-after patrol**

Wow, so we actually caught somebody tonight! I got to bust somebody, but if only that somebody wasn't Sirius Black, oh, and one of my roommates, Elise Walker. I always knew Elise was a slag…what other kind of girl gets caught in an abandoned classroom with Sirius Black, of all people? Yeah, exactly.

Remus seemed kind of embarrassed to have to bust his best friend. Sadly, I think he may have let him off if I weren't patrolling with him. Though I don't know when he ever would have been on his own? But whatever.

"Come on Rosa," he (Sirius) appealed to me after Remus gave him a stern look (which seemed to surprise the marauding Casanova). Seriously? Did he think he could make eyes at me and suddenly I'd forget I'm a prefect and even though it's kind of hypocritical, not give him detention? Foolish man.

"First of all," I began. "My name is Rosalind, not Rosa. Second, you, Sirius, will serve detention with whichever professor is open, and Elise, you will serve yours with Susanna, tomorrow at seven."

Maybe part of me was jealous I didn't have anyone to snog anymore, or if maybe I wished it was me who'd left Sirius' hair tousled., but for whatever reason, I felt the need to give them more than a warning (which is usually what I do the first time I catch a couple).

Afterwards, Remus was walking me back to the Ravenclaw Common Room, and we were both pretty quiet, just making small talk.

"I thought you liked Sirius." He said, completely out of nowhere. I eyed him strangely.

"Why on earth would you think that?" I asked, honestly curious.

" It just…seemed like you did," was his meager reply.

"Well you are out of your bleeding mind," I informed him. "I'm not blind, obviously I realize Sirius is good looking. But he's not my type."

"What is your type?" Remus asked curiously.

_That's a good question_, I mused. When I thought of my type, all I could think of was Alex. A picture of him automatically appeared in my mind…his long blonde hair, hanging in his face; the way he used to smile at me when we watched television at my house; the way he used to say my name. _That_ was my type. But Alex didn't want me anymore, and I knew I wasn't supposed to want him either, but I don't know if I will ever be able to get him out of my head.

"Tall, smart in that he can hold a good conversation; he has a kind smile and the sort of laugh that makes me smile no matter what's happening. He's funny, laid back enough to handle my insanity, but not too laid back, you know, faithful, knows some semblance of another language, and likes to read as much as I do," I answered, still conjuring images of Alex in my mind. He was everything on that list, and so I was foolish enough to think he was my soul mate or something that I'd magically found the right one on the first try. I was also an idiot, apparently.

"Pretty specific," he commented casually. "Sounds like you've already found him."

"That's what I thought too," I said with a shrug. "I'll see you tomorrow, Remus."

And that was that. Hopefully, we'll never have to talk about something painful and/or awkward (on that level) again.

-RJ B

**Friday, October 17****h**

Nora,

I woke up just in time for lunch this afternoon. I know technically I have it down as a "study period" on my schedule, but some mornings, I just really want to sleep in. I mean, really, why would I wake up at nine am to study when I could just wake up at eleven, go to lunch, and do my homework while I'm TA'ing for Blake (his incessant pestering has driven me to finally call him Blake, after four years of class).

Lunch itself is a pretty uneventful affair. I sit quietly, still half asleep, next to John and Emme (unless it's an unusual day when I've gotten up earlier than five minutes before lunch) and we eat. John and Emme chat, occasionally with me joining in, but until I've been awake at least a half an hour, most of my verbal communication consists of incoherent grunts. It's super attractive, trust me. But I guess it's better at breakfast, because at least then I can over exaggerate my complete lack of morning skills to mask my feelings when I see another new headline about who else has been killed, kidnapped, tortured, or has plain disappeared. Lunch does not really offer this option, unfortunately.

This Voldemort guy, Dark-Wizard-Extraordinaire, has become even more bold in recent months. It started a few years ago, when people would mysteriously go missing, just subtle things like that. But now? They fullout massacre entire villages, openly torture muggles, and kidnap (I think if one is lucky enough, they get to die)…all in the name of blood purity. Maybe just because I was raised as a muggle and basically am muggleborn (my mom wasn't much more than a womb to me, really), but I think it's ridiculous. I just don't understand why the hate muggles and muggleborns so much, why they see us as inferior. Since when is being inbred and genetically fucked up cool? Like seriously, what is this, Ancient Egypt? And really, I think muggles have a magic all their own, and are far more innovative and exciting than most wizards. It's one thing to make a lift using magic, it's another to make something like that with fancy physics; it's one thing to make pictures move by developing them in special magical chemicals, it's another to beam information from Earth, to a satellite, back to Earth to broadcast radio or television. Muggles are inventing new and exciting things _all the time_, while wizards sit around on their butts and wave a wand (though I must admit, I much prefer waving my wand to getting up and doing something).

Anyhow, that's my rant for the day.

**TA'ing**

Some of these kids are dumber than fuck. Pardon my French, but why would you join an elective where you know there's a lot of work involved, and not be interested in doing _any_ of it? Where is the logica behind that? I guess I just don't understand people….and how it's possible to have a nonexistent work ethic.

Argh!

This essay I'm grading? The kid knows nothing, literally. What dos he do during class, completely zone out? It's not like he misbehaves or anything, but his work clearly shows a complete lack of comprehension.

**After class**

Holy Mary, Mother of God…Blake asked me to tutor the kid. Could my life get any more annoying? Wait, knock on wood-I don't want karma coming around to punch me in the face later for tempting Fate or something.

I'm going off to wallow in my misery until dinner. Later.

**Trying to wallow in my misery**

I'm sitting here in the quiet depths of the library, trying to focus on something positive, like _Charms of the 15__th__ Century_, when Sirius Black hunts me down. I didn't think he knew where the library was. Life is full of surprises.

"What do you want?" I asked, annoyed, as he took a seat beside me in one of the back isles where no one goes (hence why I picked the place).

"I am just so shocked you gave me detention for last night," he said, pompous vibrations radiating from his person.

"That's my cue," I muttered, grabbing my book and jumping to my feet. Whatever the heck he was going to say, I really didn't want to hear it.

"Wait," he exclaimed, catching my arm. "I just want to know what I can do to apologize for my behavior."

I eyed him suspiciously, confused and pretty angry at this point, when he pulled me to him and kissed me, full on. I was caught completely off guard, eyes wide open and arms frozen at my side. Let me just say this-Sirius Black in probably the best kisser in the entirety of the United Kingdom, all anger aside.

When I came to my senses, which took about five minutes of being snogged by Sirius Black, I pulled away abruptly and glared at him.

"What the bloody hell was that?" I asked, beyond furious at this point. "Where do you get off accosting me?"

"You seemed to enjoy it well enough," he laughed, the trademark roguish grin gracing his delicately bred features.

"Oh whatever," I dismissed the notion, even thought it was one hundred percent the truth. "If you honestly think I'm going to let you off the hook because you cornered me in the library to kiss me, you're an idiot."

His smile faded.

"I am not some simpering fool, Sirius Black, and I am not interested you in any way, shape or form," I declared (except sweaty and naked, but let's not dwell on that).

"It's not like I was doing anything wrong," he argued, suddenly not so nice and charming.

"Oh, yeah, like I'm stupid!" I exclaimed. "You and Elise were in a closed classroom, first of all. Second, it was after curfew so you weren't even supposed to be out. And third, you both came out clearly having been doing some things Hogwarts certainly does not approve of."

"You're clearly just jealous," he insisted.

"Like hell I'm jealous," I scoffed. "More like you are full of yourself. So shove off."

"You're feisty, I like it," he grinned, that obnoxious facial expression returning. Urrrghhh.

"That's it, I'm leaving. Follow me at your own peril!" I warned, and ran the other direction as soon as I stepped foot out of the library doors. That was most possible the weirdest thing ever to happen to me. I think I'm going to hide in my dormitory until Astronomy. Who needs food?

**Later, around dinnertime**

Emme just stormed in, demanding to know why I wasn't coming to dinner, and promptly felt my forehead, assuming automatic "Rozza is dying" status.

"I'm fine, just hiding!" I assured her, swatting away her worried expression and hands.

"From what?" she asked, incredulous.

"More like from whom," I explained. "Sirius Black."

She still looked confused, so I had to explain the entire thing that happened in the library.

"Rozza!" she squealed. "Why is this a bad thing? This is perfect, he's perfect, to help you get over Alex!"

"What? Are you loony?" I couldn't believe my ears. "Sirius Black, the antithesis of basically everything I stand for? What drugs are you on?"

"I am _not_ on drugs, for heaven's sake," she sighed. "But maybe someone who is the complete opposite of Alex is exactly what you need."

"But I can't stand Sirius Black," I reasoned. "Just because I'm physically attracted to him, aka not blind or a lesbian, doesn't mean I should do anything with him, and certainly not when he just wants to get out of trouble."

"Whatever. Just come to dinner," Emme said, grabbing me by the arm and practically dragging me down to the Great Hall. John looked relieved to see me alive (just because I wasn't a dinner means I'm dying? Do all my friends think I am a fat cow?). For once, he was not sitting with Lisa, and the two were not drooling all over each other. Nobody wants to see those kinds of things in public, honestly.

"You missed it!" John exclaimed as I sat down. "Dumbledore announced in an attempt to lift spirits, we're going to have a Halloween Ball."

Hogwarts was having a dance? How unusual. Besides the occasional Yule Ball in cases of medieval Tri-Wizard madness, Hogwarts wasn't really known for celebrations of the dancing nature. Guess I'm not the only one completely unnerved by the Dark-Wizard-Extraordinaire (I refuse to call him He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named…it's unoriginal and stupid, but if I said Voldemort aloud everyone would freak out, the cowards…and you know, they hurt people who call him that. Logically, this makes no sense. Why would you pick a name that means something so obviously symbolic as _flight from death, _but then punish those who use it? Kid was obviously not a Ravenclaw).

"Erm, yay?" I said, not totally sure how I felt about the idea. Especially if Sirius Black started hunting me down about going, because that was the _last_ thing I needed. I prayed to God that this would be like all his other pursuance attempts and last a total of .05 seconds.

"Don't be a spoil sport!" chastised Emme. "You should take Remus."

"Ten minutes ago you told me I should be getting together with Sirius. Who's next, Peter fucking Pettigrew?" I asked, annoyed with her matchmaking antics.

"I vote Pettigrew," John joked, and in response, I jabbed him in his side.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, glaring, but a playful smile still on my face, and yes, even his.

But really, the last thing I need is the stress of a dance, on top of everything life has dumped on me lately (thanks, by the way). Maybe I just won't go, well, unless someone _other_ than a pompous Sirius Black asks me. Besides, I'm totally clumsy, it's not like I can dance anyway.

**Astronomy**

I'm too tired for this. How am I supposed to concentrate on what I'm mapping when I can barely keep my eyes open? RAWR.

Homework

Astronomy: magically steal notes from John…because I fell asleep.

Divination: something or other about Morrocan tea leaf ceremony things.

HOM: write a five foot (seriously, Professor Binns? SERIOUSLY?) on the origins of magical communities

Charms: No homework!

Potions: don't even wanna talk about that.

ACR: did it already. Ha!

-RJB

**Wednesday, October 22****nd**

Nora,

So far, no prospects for the Halloween Dance/Ball/whatever. We're supposed to be going down to Hogsmeade this weekend to look for dresses, but I really don't want to. Gigantic sigh…because alas, I will be dragged along anyway, and guilted into buying a dress by Lily and Emme, both of whom have dates (Lily and James, and Emme and some Slytherin kid) and thus I will end up going next weekend even though I don't really want to.

Ya-ya? I think not.

**History of Magic**

I find this class is the perfect place to pass notes, write in my journal, and other non-class-related activities. Sure, I could take notes, but my textbook is a lot more interested than Professor Binns happens to be.

_Pssssssssssssst. –JS _

John. What?

_Psssssssssssssssst._

John! Stop stealing my pen if you aren't going to write anything meaningful.

_I am stronger than you and therefore you can do nothing if I try to forcibly take your pen. Your feeble attempts to get it back would be futile._

You are so weird!

_Yeah, but you love it. That's why we are best friends._

Shut up.

**Later, after dinner **

Today has been a long day. Avoiding Sirius Black like the plague (especially with him in my Charms class, staring at me) was awkward, annoying, and really exhausting. I figure he'll get bored. He has to get bored…right?

-RJB

**Friday, October 24****th**

Nora,

I have decided the library is the best place to go when hiding from You-Know-Who (ironic, isn't it, I refuse to call the Dark-Lord-Extraordinaire something like that, but with Sirius, it's perfectly fine). Even though that's where he hunted me down the last time, luckily, Blake loves me so much he routinely gets me passes into the Restricted Section. Find me now, Sirius Black!

"Hey," Remus said as he slid into the seat next to me, checking out which book I was reading; today, _The Hittites: Father of Indo-European Languages. _It was hidden among a hodgepodge of weird language books in the back…that's where the best ones are.

"Hullo," I greeted him with a smile, before turning back to my book.

"What, not gonna ask if I'm hiding Sirius behind me or something?" he joked, but I responded only with an angry glare.

"Not funny, Remus! He's stalking me!" I exclaimed, massaging my temples, trying to quell the headache which began at the very mention of him.

"He seems to be really interested," Remus supplied.

"Are you trying to hook me up with him?" I asked, in wonder.

"No, er, it's just that I figured…" he rambled, and I simply shook my head.

"I meant when I said I wasn't interested in him. You tell him to leave me the heck alone!" I pleaded, pulling out the good old sad face.

"He won't back off as long as you aren't going with anyone, and even then, I don't know if he will," he explained reluctantly.

"Then go with me, save me, take pity on my soul!" I sighed dramatically. "You have to."

"Why me?" he asked. "Sirius is going to be angry with me if I do."

"You're a Gryffindor, you'll do it because you're noble, geez," I explained, as if talking to a four year-old.

…Long story short, I made him say yes. Take that, You-Know-Who. Annoy me at your own peril.

-RJB

**Saturday, October 25****th**

Dear Nora,

Shopping time! I know a few days ago, I was all down in the dumps about being forced to go and all, but I must say, by mood has improved exponentially. Though this whole thing would be way more awesome if it were costumed, not to mention cheaper, but that's life, right? C'est la vie, as the French would say?

More expensive or not, I can't hide the excitement my girly side feels about buying a dress. I can't help it, Nora, I just can't.

**trying on dresses**

Okay, so this is not as fun as I remember it. I feel fat.

_Merlin's pants, Rozza, you are _not_ fat. - EV_

I know that...I said I feel fat. Do you blame me, watching you and Lily try on dresses in sizes four and six when I am a size ten?

_Well I for one would like to point out that, for starters, you have the body of a woman and people still mistake me for a twelve year-old. _

Hehe. Like that one time when we were...

_That's not the point! You're not fat. The end._

Well I already knew that, but thanks? Oh! It's my turn to try some more things on.

**Later**

We're in the Three Broomsticks after a successful shopping run, and John is still complaining that we dragged him along. He's such a man-child.

"Why me?" he lamented dramatically.

"You're our best guy friend, John," Emme explained. "You should feel honored."

"Yeah, well, right about now I feel insulted," he whined and I hit him upside the head. "Hey!"

So, as far as dresses go, we are definitely all set, which is pretty exciting. Emme's dress is this beautiful creamy yellow color that cuts off right above her knee, and she bought the most beautiful pair of shoes I have EVER seen in my entire life to go with it. I envy that she can wear a color like yellow; maybe it's because she's so blond and pale...I dunno. Lily, being conventional, bought a floor-length emerald-y green gown; no leg and no cleavage, although it does make her shoulders look awful nice. Now, Nora, I suppose you're wondering what mine looks like! It falls just below my knees, is the best midnight blue, with beautiful silver material lining the bust (sweetheart), dropped waist, and hem. I am, in short, in _love_ with it. I'll probably be a dork and wear it around my room way after this dance.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note: Sirius Black is no longer stalking me, and instead, just glares. Remus says he's currently miffed at the both of us, but I could care less.

We're going to head back to school; it's getting late and almost time for dinner. Later!

-RJB

**Tuesday, October 27th**

Nora,

Ancient Runes this morning until 11. Can't wait because we're starting a new and fascinating chapter about some more contemporary runic studies. In the last 50 years, apparently, more interest has been in the realm beyond the typical type alphabets (the basic runic alphabet, the stuff having to deal with Greco-Roman, Egyptian, Babylonian, and other traditional 'magical' alphabets). Absolutely wonderful.

More later, after class, when more awake. Not totally able to write in complete sentences. Need fooooodd.

**after class**

Wow! Blake asked to speak to me after class about something - in light of the research that's being done across the globe into more obscure magical languages, there's been a spike in need for those who excell in the fields of (of course) runic alphabets and similar magics to go on exploratory digs and such. He thinks I should seriously consider applying to one that will be leaving in a few years to South America, in the heart of the Amazon...he thinks I'd love it (and really, I would). But if I committed to it, I'd spend from about the fall of '81 to the summer of '85 there, and the years before that doing preliminary training and continuing education. It's a lot to think about.

"That's a serious opportunity, Rosalind," Remus said, when I told him (he waited up for me after class). "It'd be perfect for you; can you honestly see yourself working some Ministry job after graduation?"

"No," I admitted. "But I don't know if I can just leave my family like that, to be so far away for so long."

"Wouldn't your father want you to do something you were crazy about?" he asked.

"Of course he would, but my father never thinks of himself and what is best for him, you know," I explained, and it was true. Maybe a long time ago, back before I was born, my Dad was more the type to think about himself, but after having to raise me, getting married, and having two more children, Jonathan Barlow became a self-less man. Sometimes I really wish he would do things for him, but he so rarely does.

Anyway, it's lunch time and then I have a _ton ton ton_ of homework to get done before Divination.

**during Divination**

I wish I had more friends in this class. Well, actually, I wish had any friends at all here. I feel like an outcast some days...our class is so small and sure, we've gotten to know each other because of it, but I still don't feel really comfortable.

Kids in my NEWTS Divination class

_Rodolphus Lestrange-_ the tall, dark and handsome type, and dark in probably more ways than one. It's generally known he and his gang (which includes Severus Snape and Jason Avery) are into the Dark Arts and undoubtedly the Dark-Lord-Extraordinaire. God, he's such a bad boy...it's so hot.

_Jesssica Avery_- Really, don't ask me why she or her buddy Rodolphus are in this class, because I honestly don't know. Very vocal about her beliefs on blood purity, more so than Lestrange. Has a twin brother. She's actually a year below me, pretty young for her year too, and unfortunately, is somehow a year ahead in this class. How does that even work?

_Lisa Smith_- John's Hufflepuff ladylove. Ridiculously pretty, and really nice too. It's disgusting.

_Dorcas Meadows -_ Gryffindor, friend/roommate of Lily's. Takes Divination really seriously. Her and Jessica argue a lot.

_Amber Jacobson _- Also a Hufflepuff, friend of Lisa's, but not nearly as pretty, or really as nice either. She clearly thinks this class is a joke, much to her friend's disappointment. Probably only taking it because Lisa is, she's that much of a mindless drone.

_Henry Newsome _- Fellow Ravenclaw, but we don't really interact outside of class or anything. He's pretty awkward and won't even look at me. I thought my eye contact problem was bad, geez.

_ME!-_ bit of a nutcase, halfblood, Ravenclaw, not sure what to think of Divination as a whole, and sitting by myself.

ya-ya? Not quite.

-RJB

**Friday, October 31st**

Nora,

Tonight is the Halloween dance! After classes finish up, we are going to start getting ready. I've already set out my dress and organized all the muggle makeup I had lying around at the bottom of my trunk (alright, so, during the year, I'm completely lazy and never wear any) and put it all out on the vanity. We are ready for liftoff! I will spill _all_ the details tonight after the dance (of course, this requires something interesting happen), even if I am dead tired! Well, maybe not, but it's the thought that counts, right?

**AFTER THE DANCE**

Goodness! I have so much to tell you Nora! Where to start...well, I guess at the beginning (it's a very good place start).

After us girls had finished getting ready, we walked down the stairs (slow motion entrance! yay!), but only John was there to see us.

"You guys look great, sometimes I really forget you're girls," he said, and I knew he meant it to be nice or whatever, but we just looked at him like he was an idiot. "Your dates are outside, and I have to go meet Lisa. Bye!"

With that, Mr. Romeo took off and we greeted our crowd of friends outside, waiting by the Raven (we like to call him Edgar, though he usually protests). James and Lily were there, Sirius (urgh) and his slutty looking date, Emme's date (who fawned over how breathtaking she was, some Slytherin named Augustus, who must have been bribed to be in the company of so many Gryffindors), and of course, Remus.

"Wow!" he smiled, while Sirius, who stood beside him, apparently couldn't help but to wolf whistle. What a tool!

"All this for me, eh?" Remus asked, cracking a smile.

"Actually, it's for the _other_ guy who is taking me," I joked, and he pretended to look offended.

I dunno why, but the fact that I'd blown him away felt pretty great. I mean, we were just going as friends (and because, you know, I begged him to save me from his best friend), but I guess what girl doesn't enjoy lookin' a superfine bitch and having it be appreciated?

At the dance, a couple of completely expected and completely unexpected things happened.

1. Sirius got into a fight with Severus Snape, for no real other reason than there must have been too muh testosterone in the air and they felt the need to prove their manliness. They were then kicked out and given lots and lots of detention. (what? Sirius and Snape fighting? No way! ...end sarcasm...)

2. The music wasn't terrible. I'm not very familiar with a lot of wizard music and was kind of afraid that like everything else in the wizarding world, it would be stuck in the 1800s. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was not! We rocked the night away, and in short, it was very fun!

3. Remus can dance. And would you know it, so can I! I always thought my two left feet would extend to the realm of dance, but apparently not!

4. Lisa broke up with John. I'm not sure if I saw this coming or not, just because she's so darn nice I didn't know she had it in her. John has been moping ever since.

5. Remus kissed me, and I have _no_ idea what to do.

-RJB

* * *

And there's the update/reloaded version of chapter two. Hope you enjoyed it. Also, to anyone who reads _Weather Girl_, know that I updated it last month and plan on working on another chapter during my one month winter break.

-Sara


	3. Chapter 3

**Happiness is Not a Riddle**

Summary: MWPP. Rosalind Barlow receives a diary for her seventeenth birthday and proceeds to name it "Nora" for no particular reason. Nora becomes witness to her friendships, losses, and even some love on Rosalind's search for herself.

Disclaimer: Guess what? I'm just a poor college student. I don't even own my own house. Like I own a franchise.

Interesting fact: this story's title derives from the George Gershwin song _Slap that Bass_. "...happiness is not a riddle when I'm listening to that big bass fiddle..." I would basically marry George Gershwin. He wrote the music, but then again, Ira did the lyrics and those are pretty awesome too. Either way, I feel like the phrase I chose for the title reflects the attitude that if you want to be happy, be happy. If you want to live, live. Life is what you make it. ETC. and that's an attitude I really like.

second interesting fact: the title for this particular chapter comes from Fiona Apple's song _Never is a Promise_. To be honest, I kind of just picked it- I hate titling things. So don't read into it.

* * *

_Chapter Three: but never is a promise and you can't afford to lie_

**Monday, November 3rd**

Nora,

Sorry to end on such a note like that, about the dance...I still have no idea what to do. We were standing outside, laughing and talking and whatnot, when out of nowhere, Remus leaned forward and kissed me. I stood there, caught completely off guard, and jerked away with wide eyes. ...Then I kind of ran away. Well, not kind of; I definitely ran away. I have been avoiding him ever since, and have no clue what to do when we have rounds together on Wednesday.

"I don't know why you were so surprised," Lily commented after I spilled the beans to her and Emme. "It's so obvious how into you he is."

"And it's obvious you like him too," Emme interjected, and I started at her in shock.

"What on earth are you on about? Are you thick or something?" I asked. "It never even occured to me...I never..."

"Are you blind?" Lily asked, tone serious.

"I think she is," Emme piped up, and I hit them both.

Blind to what...Remus' advances? Because they were so not obvious, and neither are my apparent feelings for him. What the heck...people are stupid, especially my best friends. If I liked Remus, I think I would know, geez.

**later**

Lots of homework; professors have been piling it on, as if the first two months were just practice or something. No time to write.

-RJB

**Wednesday, November 5th**

Nora,

Today was probably the most awkward day of my life, and let me tell you, that is a feat, because I am an incredibly awkward person. For all the brains I've got in my head, there is certainly no common sense, and believe me, it shows. But tonight had nothing to do with that, just with the fact that I've been avoiding Remus like the plague and tonight we had to patrol together. At first, I tried to fake sick like a stupid coward but John told me to get my ass out from under the covers and face him like a man.

"But I'm a woman," I supplied, thinking I was being rather witty, but John only gave me _the_ look.

"Fine...I'm going."

And so I went. It was terrible, we were so quiet, we didn't look at each other or anything almost the entire time. What was I supposed to say? 'Uh, Remus, I didn't realize...I don't really like anyone, you see...Sorry if I lea you on...' and make an even bigger fool out of myself? And I didn't want to hurt his feelings - Remus is one of the coolest guys I ever met; I really enjoy spending time with him, because he makes me laugh but we talk about serious stuff too.

Oh my God...now that I think about it, it _does_ sound as though I like him. But I don't...right? I don't know. bahhh. Anyway, the extent of our conversation last night was a "see you in class" before I bolted in the opposite direction. Now he probably thinks I hate him.

I don't like Remus Lupin. Well, I do, but not in _that_ way. I don't like Remus Lupin. I don't like Remus Lupin.

-RJB

P.S. My last two entries were almost entirely about Remus Lupin. Note to self: find something else to write about.

**Friday, November 7th**

Nora,

I feel terrible. 'Thello wrote me a letter and I feel like an awful older sister, neglecting my duties while I have been off learning magical things and having fun with my magical friends, leaving my brothers in the dark. Well, I don't feel sorry about Mercutio, because he thinks I'm freakish and weird anyway, but I do feel sorry about 'Thello. Here's the letter he wrote:

_ROSALIND JUDITH BARLOW,_

_This is Othello. I am writing to tell you not to call me 'Thello anymore because everyone at school has decided to call me 'O', not that you would know or even care, because you haven't written to me in ages. I am upset. I can't wait to go to Hogwarts next year, you know, like I said in my last letter, but all you did was say 'congratulations.' You didn't tell me anything about it, or how cool it is to be magical. Dad says you're just getting older and it's to be expected, or something like that, but I think he's lying because I know it makes him upset to._

_So you should write. And tell me about Hogwarts. And make Dad feel like you're still his little girl or whatever it is you write to him about. _

_-O_

_P.S. if you promise to write back I'll still let you call me 'Thello. Sometimes._

People call him 'O'? What is this, some stupid action film? God, he's turning into one of those teenage-y boys already. Merlin's pants...he's eleven. Where has the time gone? So anyway, of course I wrote back:

_Mister Othello James Barlow,_

_I see that in my absence you have clearly grown up. The Othello I remember would have called me a poop head and threatened to eat my lipstick. I'm so proud. _

_Let's see...what is Hogwarts like? It's the most amazing place in the world _(way to be vague, Rosalind) _and it is always full of new surprises, even after soon to be seven years. I guess the first, most basic thing, to know is that students are separated into four houses, according to character. I dunno if I'm allowed to tell you this, but they stick a talking hat on your head and he decides which house you belong in. Obviously, I am a resident of the best house in the ENTIRE world, Ravenclaw, which is only for the witty/smart/studious. Some of us are boring, but don't worry, plenty of your own kind here too (that is to say, my beloved brother, that you are weird, as am I). Gryffindor is for the "brave" and "chivalrous", but that's code for reckless and stupid (most of the time, at least), and Hufflepuff is where most of the really nice people are, the so nice it's disgusting. There's also Slytherin, for the cunning and ambitious, but these days they're mostly dark wizards and blood purists, so don't worry about having to be there. I guess that's another thing I should prepare you for...there will be people in the wizarding world who think you are worthless, because your parents were not both magical, or because you don't come from a long line of inbred witches and wizards. They will call you awful names and demean you whenever they can, they'll think they are better than you, but 'Thello, don't believe a word of it. They are just backward people stuck in the ancient past. You are a Muggleborn but there is _nothing _wrong with that. They hate me too, if it makes you feel better, even though my birth mother was a witch. _

_The staircases move, the pictures move (and sometimes even talk). One of your professors can turn into a cat. The celing of the Great Hall mimcs the sky 's a giant squid who lives in the lake. Instead of playing football, they play Quidditch and zoom around on flying brooms. It'll start out as your home away from home, but then turn into your home and become your favorite place to be...so much so, that when you're my age, the thought of leaving and starting your life, while exciting, will make you cry. _

_Is that good enough? Tell Dad I'll write him later. _

_See you at Christmas,_

_RJB_

I got a little teary-eyed writing it, actually. I can't believe, by some chance of fate, that 'Thello is a wizard. Maybe Dad is descended from Squibs or something.

Oh well, not gonna think about that right now. I have to go TA, and then tonight I have Astromony. Later.

**during dinner**

Remus must have told his friends about what happened, about me and him and me running off and whatnot. I honestly can't tell if Sirius' look is because he's angry or because he's happy I'm not with anyone, and that scares me. He'd better stay away from me or I'll give him something to be angry about, that's for sure.

Okay, seriously, this is creepy. He keeps staring.

That's it. I can't take this anymore. I'm going to eat my dinner in peace and then finish up my homework in the safety of the Ravenclaw CR. Try and stare at me there, Sirius Black. (knock on wood...really don't wanna jinx myself or anything; you never know with those trouble makers).

-RJB

**Sunday, November 9th**

Nora,

Lily cornered me today. Damnit.

"So what are you going to do? Because James keeps pestering me and I'm tired of it," she said, frustrated. Well what the heck was I supposed to tell her? Oh yes, Lily, I have my entire life figured out, or better yet, I will figure it out at your convenience. Alright, so figuring out the mass of confusion surrounding this sandy-haired boy isn't "my entire life", but I'm a teenager, it is my prerogative to see every crisis as the end of the world, thanks. I mean, my mom always says that when you're young, everything feels like the end of the world. Thankfully, she always adds "it isn't". That's what she told me when I spent a week locked in my room after Alex broke up with me. It no longer feels like the end of the world...but that doesn't really make it stop hurting.

See, this is why even if I did like Remus, I couldn't date him, and is also why I can't. I am still so hung up on Alex. It's incredbily pathetic (but maybe not, when you really think about it). Two years...two years of my life romantically, and most of my life non-romantically, and I'm just expected to say 'oh, alright, I will now quickly move on and forget all about how much I loved you'? What is wrong with people? So all these thoughts were wizzing through my head and I said some mean things to one of my best friends, and I feel only slightly bad about it.

"Well Lily, what the fuck do you want me to say? Let me put aside everything just so I can help you," I snapped. "Sometimes, it's just not about you, okay?"

I then stormed away and she looked like I ran over her cat...twice.

To top it off, Sirius also confronted me today, except without words. He tried to push me into an empty classroom to talk to me, giving me that creepy look that's been occupying his face lately, but before he could really say anything I slipped under his arm and ran for my life.

I'm just too angry and frustrated for this right now. Like I really need this kind of stress on my plate right now, with my ridiculous amount of homework and my own confusion. I feel stupid because I never get to write in here anymore about just what I did on any given day, or even copy my assignments, because for the past week this crap has taken over my life. Whatever, I am so done with this. I'll write when this stuff if officially over.

-RJB

**Wednesday, November 11th**

Nora,

I lied.

Tonight I'm going to talk to Remus and tell him to tell his friends to back off. It's not that I really minded him kissing me, like it wasn't _bad_ or anything, but I think I've already made it clear to you, Nora, that I can't get into anything with anyone. Alright, well, I haven't exactly explained the details, but I figure I might owe it to Remus so I'll end up recounting it to you. Because looking back, I kind of did lead him on. Heck, I even convinced him to take me to the dance. We flirted in our own awkward, nerdy ways. And after realizing that, I also realize if Alexander Wallace weren't part of the picture, maybe that night would not have ended up with me running in the opposite direction. Aghhh. I hate what if scenarios. I hate the mess this has created. Maybe I should have just indulged Sirius Black in the first place, and maybe this could have happened sometime later when I could deal with it better.

**history of magic**

blah blah. I hate this class. I hate sitting awkwardly next to Remus when I haven't spoken to him in forever; it's so weird. It's even more awkward than having Lily on the other side after what I said to her on Sunday. I haven't said I'm sorry, dunno if I ever will, because even though it was rather rude of me, Lily can be self-centered at times. It's not that she never thinks about anyone else, but she can get caught up in herself and forget. It just gets so frustrating sometimes!

_Look, I'm tired of you avoiding me. -RL_

Great. Thanks for interrupting my venting and PRIVATE THOUGHTS. This is not one of those times when I'm basically vomiting words, okay?

_I'm sorry for messing things up between us._

Look, I forgive you, but can we talk about this later, like on patrol? This will take a lot more than a little bit of space in my journal.

_That terrible?_

Shut up. I'm trying to take notes.

_Yeah right._

I mean it! LATER.

...Yeah, that's what I thought.

**later, after patrol**

So here's what went down:

"I really am sorry," Remus said as soon as met on the first floor. "I didn't know that-"

"Shut up and let me talk," I told him, interrupting his spiel. I understood he was sorry, and it wasn't really his fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, really, so forgiveness is easy to provide in this instance...even if it took me a while to sort things out.

"I didn't even realize I liked you until about yesterday, after lots of overanalyzing my every thought and action, and if I had noticed what I was doing, I would have stopped," I began. "It's not you, and it's not even me. Do you remember when you thought I had the hots for Sirius, and I said he wasn't my type, so you asked what my type was and I explained in depth...you said it sounded like I'd already found someone, but I replied that's what I thought too."

"Yeah," he answered uncertainly, probably hoping I wouldn't tell him to shut up again.

"His name is Alexander Wallace and we've known each other since my father got married and we moved to the neighborhood where we live now," I explained, and part of me wanted to cry because I couldn't believe I was about to divulge feelings I didn't really like to talk about. "I don't know when our relationship first changed, but we did start dating the June before fifth year began. He knew I was a witch; I told him when I first got my letter, before I knew I wasn't allowed to tell, and he was always okay with it. I thought he was perfect, heck, I thought he was _the one_, which now that I think about it, is an absolutely ridiculous notion. But anyway, we were really happy...until I came home over the summer and something was wrong. In August, he said we needed to 'talk' and we got into an argument about magic."

"I thought you said he was okay with the magic?" Remus asked quietly as we patrolled the hallways.

"I thought he was, too, before he found out about You-Know-Who and the war we're in. That's why we argued-he said he didn't want me to stay in the magical world, said it wasn't safe. Alex wanted me to, after graduating from Hogwarts, just marry him and live a boring, muggle life of safety with him. So, naturally, I told him he was crazy, and if he really loved me, he could never ask me to turn my back on something that's a part of myself. He said _I_ must be crazy if I thought he'd let me be in danger that way. We argued and argued and everything fell apart after that. We broke up a few weeks later, about a week before I left for Hogwarts. He said maybe I wasn't as serious about him as he was me, that he wanted to settle down and marry me or something but clearly we didn't have the same goals," I kept rambling on, and I'm pretty sure I'd started crying.

"Which, you know, is complete rubbish. I'm seventeen years-old, why should I be thinking about marriage and children? Why would I ever want to be a muggle housewife anyway? How could he know me my entire life and think that's the kind of life I wanted? I mean, I'm no Gloria Steinem, but I face enough sexism in the wizarding world, why do I have to put up with it at home, too?" Looking back, I kind of want to hit myself at this point. I can't stand when someone blurts out their life story and innermost feelings. It makes me really uncomfortable.

You want to know what was even worse? Remus stopped, in the middle of the hallway, and so did I, confused, and he hugged. me. Why does he have to be so nice? Why do I have to be so hung up on Alex? Why can't humans reproduce asexually? Life's important questions.

"Rosalind," he said seriously, his voice muffled because his face was buried in my hair. I kept waiting for him to, I dunno, finish his sentence, but we just stayed like that for a while, and I really didn't mind.

I hate my life.

-RJB

**Thursday, November 12th**

Nora,

I wrote home to Mum about my conundrum. I can't wait for her to write back-she gives the best advice in the world. It doesn't matter what the problem is, who it involves...she always knows just what to say and what I should do. It's times like that I think it wasn't a bad thing my biological mother left, the times I honestly believe everything happens for a reason. But then other shitty things happen and I reconsider.

When did I become so pessimistic?

**Divination**

Sometimes I wonder why I chose to take this class. Most of the time, I regard this all as fakery. I suppose it's because there are some days, when I make a chart or do some sort of reading, I feel like there's something special going on, like maybe it's _not_ fake.

"You have a _diary_?" Jessica sniffed, seeing my writing. Grrr—I really don't like her. People like her are the real disgrace to magic, their narrow-minded idea of it and who is allowed to wield its power. I try to imagine what kind of parents raise their children to have such thoughts, and it makes me sick to think of what else those families get up to. Followers of the Dark-Lord-Extraordinaire, no doubt.

"Actually, it's Nora," I informed her stiffly, hoping for a loss of interest on her part.

"You're a filthy, half-blood _freak_, Barlow; why else would the only decent member of your family abandon you?" she sneered, and seriously, I felt anger beyond the whipping-out-the-wand kind, and more towards the pounding-her-face-and-ripping-out-her-hair-with-my-bare-hands kind of feeling. Times like this I wished I could g back in time and tell my first-year self and tell her to be quiet!

"I'm a better person than you ever will be," I said simply, turning away from her and back to our latest project. Even if hurting her would make me feel great, it wouldn't be very logical to get myself in trouble over Jessica Avery…she's so totally not worth it.

Apparently being ignored really bothers her. Well, too bad. I'm the queen of ignoring people. So take that, Jessica.

-RJB

**Sunday, November 15th**

Nora,

I wonder. Would muggle school have been easier?

**later**

Answer to my previous question: even if it were, I'd be worrying about university right now and totally stressing out on top of crap like A-levels. Bring on the NEWTS, thanks.

**even later...like ten minutes later**

Lily and I just made up. Finally! She came up to me and apologized, because it didn't occur to her what kind of a time I was going through. She said she was sorry for not considering my feelings. So I said I was sorry for being so rude about telling her to bugger off. She laughed and we ended up sitting in the library together for the next hour going over Charms homework. I love my friends.

"So…what is up with you and Remus, then?" she asked after studying.

"I don't really know," I sighed. "It's confusing."

"Boys usually are," she agreed, cracking a smile. We laughed some more. It was good.

**HOMEWORK**

I have so much homework it is ridiculous. I don't know why I'm writing here instead of getting this stuff done. Focus!

-RJB

**Wednesday, November 18****th**

Nora,

I am currently sitting in History of Magic dying. I'm trying to remember a) how I got a good enough mark of my OWLS to get into NEWT level and b) why I thought it would be a good idea to take NEWT level History of Magic. Definitely one of the worst decisions of my academic life! I mean, sure, NEWT level is better than back when everybody had to take it, but there is also significantly more work involved. And at this point, I am tired to discussing boring historical events, which overshadow much of the interesting parts of the curriculum.

Anyway, things are getting better. Life is less awkward. I am still awaiting an answer from my mother regarding my current life situation. I wonder what is taking her so long…she's usually very prompt. On the subject of letters, I should probably write home, babble on about life and send it to Dad. Part of my daughterly responsibilities, and all that. In fact, that sounds like a much better idea than taking notes right now.

**Lunch**

Usually Hogwarts has excellent food, but today they are serving something I truly despise: split pea soup and some odd bowl of something (if I don't know what it is or what's in it, I'm not eating it). Great. Dinner had better be good.

Going off the Charms and the Potions. It's going to be a long day.

**Dinner**

Noooooooooooooo! What is this, 'Serve Rosalind's Least Favorite Foods' day? CREAMED CORN EVERYWHERE….I can't stand creamed corn. It's smell has filled my nostrils and left me nauseous. I can't even look at, forget about eat, the delicious bread in front of me. Bleeeghhh.

**Later, after patrol**

Remus Lupin is officially a lifesaver. I explained the whole situation of my starvation to him while we were patrolling and he got the most peculiar smile on his face…so uncharacteristic of him that I would call it a roguish grin.

"Just wait until after we finish up," he explained. "I have a surprise."

"I don't really like surprises," I said warily, eyeing him with caution.

"You'll like this one," he assured me. What else could I do but trust him? And boy was that a good idea! Because guess what? Mr. Gryffindor Prefect took me down by the Hufflepuff Common Room and we snuck into the kitchens! That's what I call a good friend – one who breaks the rules to feed you.

Yum yum yum. I am deliciously full.

-RJB

**Thursday, November 19****th**

Nora,

Mum's letter came today. I am mildly afraid to open it. Well, more than mildly. It's funny…I was waiting and waiting and waiting for this letter to come, but now that it has, I'm rather scared to read it.

I think I'll pretend it doesn't exist for a few days. Calm myself down and all that.

-RJB

**Sunday, November 22****nd**

Nora,

Here's the letter:

_To my lovely Rosalind,_

_I am very sorry to hear that you are in such a predicament. I know very well how you felt about Alex, and how he felt about you. I also remember how much you cried after you two fought and eventually broke up. The idea of being with anyone else scares you, and understandably so. Alex is the only boy you've ever dated and he was also your best friend from a young age, but in life, there are always going to be things that scare us._

_When I first met your father, I didn't know you were part of the picture. I never asked, he never brought it up (good thing too, I might have run off), and so after we had been dating a while, you couldn't stay a secret any longer. I don't think I loved your Dad at this point, to be completely honest. We'd been together for six or so months, and we were pretty serious, but the idea had never really crossed my mind. So when he decided I needed to know about you, to meet you, it came as a shock to me. He looked me in the eye and said: "Anna, I love you and because of that, there's someone I need you to meet." Then he leaves, comes back down with a baby in his arms and tells me your name was Rosalind, that you were his daughter, and the most important thing in his life. I loved him in that moment because I saw in him such intensity that had never surfaced in our relationship before, and it scared me more than anything._

_I'm ashamed to say this, but I essentially ran away and ignored your dad for a week or so before showing up at his doorstep, crying, saying that I loved him too and I was willing to love you. I knew things weren't going to be easy, and they weren't. I was scared because I had no idea what to do, I was playing second fiddle to an infant and I'd also end up an automatic mother to a child that wasn't mine. It wasn't my idea of the ideal, and I ran because I hadn't known how to handle it. But I mustered the courage to face that fear, and look at me now – along with Mercutio and Othello, you two are the best gifts life have ever given me, that I could ever have hoped for. _

_The moral of the story is that things will be scary, but that doesn't mean they aren't worth it. For instance, the idea of life without Alex at all terrified you but here you are, living a normal (albeit magical) teenage life without him because you had to. But it can also be rewarding to do those things because you _want _to. I'm not saying that you should go out and marry this Remus boy, but from what I understand from your letter(s), he's a very nice young man who cares about you, and that's a wonderful thing. The fact is you cannot sit around moping about Alex for the rest of your life, dearest. You must stand up, face the wind, and live your life again, without him, and still be happy. It's possible; it's more than possible! Alexander Wallace will not be the only man to love you, and you cannot let him be the only man for you to love. _

_What I'm saying is this: give this one a chance. Don't hide behind what scares you. In the end, you'll be better for it. _

_Love,_

_Mum_

And that, Nora, is why I have the best mother in the entire world. I swear I teared up while reading this, just because it's so beautiful and inspiring. _Don't hide behind what scares you_. She's right – hiding behind the memory of Alex will not get me anywhere, but I think this is one of those things that are easier said than done.

-RJB

**Tuesday, November 24****th**

Nora,

Today was uneventful. Did the whole TA shebang as per usual, luckily no tutoring lately. I think they younglings have realized I'm tired of repeating class and that's not what I'm here for. Ha!

**Later, doing homework**

It amuses me how I will say I'm doing homework when really I'm doodling in here. It's not very productive to write a few sentences on my Potion's essay but then go to you and start babbling about one thing or another. I mean, I guess it's kind of like a rewards system, but apparently not a very effective one. I'm going to hide you under the couch cushion until I finish this essay. Don't take it personally…hope it's not _too_ dirty down there.

-RJB

**Thursday, November 26****th**

Nora,

Lily Evans, of all people, has told me that this week I've spent too much time studying and not enough time with my friends. Lily Evans! Miss I'm-Head-Girl-Because-I'm-Such-a-Goody-Two-Shoes is telling _me_ that I've been _studying too much_? Normally she's lecturing me for goofing off in prefect meetings and other things of the sort. Obviously dating James Potter has gotten to her, he's corrupted her! I will have to voice my objections…just kidding. Like I'm bothered by her becoming less uptight. I think it's good for her.

**10pm**

Lalalalalala. Sitting in the CR with John and Emme, looking through old Hogwarts yearbooks. You have no idea how amusing this is, Nora. There is a guy with the most ridiculous mustache I have ever seen from back in like 1860. I swear, he could hide an entire army in there. I wonder if there are Charms for that?

-RJB

Ps. Clearly I am taking Lily's advice. Harharharhar. And apparently I had too much sugar today!

**Saturday, November 28****th**

Nora,

I have mused this week on the letter from my mother. I've really considered her advice…and, like almost always, I have reached the conclusion that she is right. As soon as I muster about the courage, I'm going to talk to Remus. Well actually, if I waited until I had the courage we'd be waiting forever. I'm a Ravenclaw, remember?

**Later, in Hogsmeade**

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna…fuck it, here goes nothing.

**7:27pm**

Here's how it happened:

I shoved you in my bag and kind of sort of pretty much pathetically ran after Remus and his group. Luckily, they did not notice and so I quickly smoothed my skirt and hair before making my presence known. James was off with Lily somewhere (corrupting her further, I suspect), and so it was just Remus, Sirius, and Peter. I know I never talk about him, but Peter seems like a really sweet, but really awkward kid. It's gotta suck being the oddball of the group, but it's what happens, you know. Every group has one. John, for example. Just kidding – it's really me. Anyway.

"Hey," I said as I caught up with them. "Remus, do you think I could talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, sounding pleasantly surprised (good sign, good sign) and turned to his friends to explain he'd meet up with them again later.

"So…." I began, my confidence faltering as it became just him and I. "Are you feeling better? I heard you were sick earlier this week."

"Yeah," he shrugged, and maneuvered us over to a bench to sit down, since I clearly was trying to make small talk. "I'll live. So what is it you want to talk about, or are you planning on discussing the weather, too?"

Ouch, he got me there. Awkward small talk is a no-no, though seriously, I'd worried about him. I'm not completely insensitive, goodness.

"Well, I'm not exactly good at the spoken word, as you know," I joked. "But I it's just that…Remus, I really do like you and I'm _so _sorry for—"

"You don't need to apologize, Rosalind," he cut me off. "I understand."

"Yeah, well, let me finish, will you? I was trying to say that I'm sorry for what happened at the dance and then afterwards, _as you already know_, but I've been really thinking about things for a while and I can't let Alex keep me from living my life, Remus, and I'm done with giving him that power."

"That's great," he said, looking as though he wasn't sure where this is going.

"Oh for heaven's, sake," I exclaimed. "Remus, if you're still interested, so am I. That's what I'm trying to say.

"You've to be crazy… if I'm still interested?" he asked stupidly and I felt my heart sink. "Rosalind, I've liked you since last term. If there was something that could stop me from being interested…honestly."

While I was sighing with relief, he leaned in and kissed me. Not hesitantly this time, and this time I certainly didn't freak out and run in the opposite direction. Instead, I kissed him back. In short, it was wonderful.

And now I'm on cloud nine, because even though it was unsaid, we are together now. We spent the rest of the day together. It was wonderful. I'm officially _moving on_! Gotta write my mother.

-RJB

**Tuesday, November 31****st**

Nora,

It is the last day of November. I cannot believe how quickly these past few months have passed – in a few weeks it will be time for midterms and I will be at home for the hols. I'm thinking about digging out some of my old books to 'Thello, I'm sure they are in the attic somewhere or my closet or something like that for Christmas. I mean, I know he's probably not ecstatic for hand me downs or anything, but first of all, wizarding textbooks are not cheap and second, I have plenty of non-textbooks he might enjoy, like _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them._ I think I even have _Quidditch Through the Ages_ and the _Tales of the Beedle and the Bard._ After I got my first summer job, I went crazy on buying as many books about the world I lived in as possible (ha, and you may have doubted my validity as a Ravenclaw!). He'll like it. Because I say so…just kidding, he really will. I wonder what house he'll be in? I mean, Ravenclaw is obviously the best, so that's what he should hope for, but I'm trying to think of where else I could see him. Slytherin is out of the picture, as a muggleborn, and I think he'd make the worst Hufflepuff ever…so I guess Gryffindor or Ravenclaw it is for him.

Oh well, I'll just make him write me incessantly while I'm off doing whatever it is adults do. Working, probably. Specifically, I have no idea. While most of my classmates have either something lined up (oh the benefits of well-connected parents) or at least an idea of where or what they'd like to do, I am severely lacking in that department. I guess I'll just have to add "figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life" to my to-do list.

Great.

-RJB

* * *

I can't believe I finally got this up...I honestly thought that I would never be able to do anything else with this fic because I had misplaced the flashdrive (I thought it fell off my keychain and I would never see it again). Imagine my surprise when it showed up in my backpack while I was searching for my lost debit card a few days ago. Expect an update on this and _Weather Girl_ sometime after the 22nd, which is when the semester finishes and I get to return home. Flying seriously freaks me out - please pray that my plane does not crash, explode, become extremely delayed, etc, etc, etc so that I am not scarred for life.

Have a happy holiday everyone! God bless!

-Sara


End file.
